update on my pathetic life

hello to anyone who cares...if you do wow thats deication! so my life is to sum it up in one word boring. my job is boring, i work at least 40 hrs a week and at least 35 of those i am bored half to death, it is horrible if i didnt need money so bad i would be gone in a heartbeat.but i do need money so bad right now because i live in a box and have to escape before i use up all the oxygen.I have discovered something about myself today, well maybe before today, but it occured to me today that i am good at nothing,all the times i ever got defensive for being called a failure and a fuckup, it was true, i am.a brief overview shows that everything i have attempted has pretty much been a dud, every single thing, i have no talents skills or hobbies to speakof, i do not excell in any area, i do not stand out for any reasons, i am what you might call a wallflower maybe i dunno, i try to tell myself in vin attempt to feel more confident in myself that i just need to try new things, but i am wasting my time,i have found no new nitche or area of expertise, it is absolutely madening to thing that i am nearly 21 and am known for nothing, not a damn thing. i thing my parent were right i am a disapointment, and an not realy going in any direction to speak of.god what a waste of space. if you havnt already noticed i have recently become increasingly insecure in myself, not only in my lack of use, but in my appearance, i dont wanna go into it,but i am not my biggest fan, i have noticed how many beautiful people there are in the world ,alot. well i guess im gonna go to sleep maybe i wont be so down in the morning,maybe it will rain .